One Year Down; A Life Time to Go.

A year ago I was sitting in my car, just after leaving the weight loss specialist, feeling completely & utterly defeated. I had let myself get so overweight that I thought surgery was the only option, so I ended up speaking with some doctors only to find out that I needed to consistently meet with them for about 5 months, being monitored, before my insurance would even considering giving me coverage for the procedure. They even warned me that a lot of insurance companies don’t cover these kinds of things. I needed a fix, and I needed it right then and there. I felt as if I would never escape the hell that I had created around my body. Beyond discouraged, I found the last bit of will to get healthy. As difficult as it was, and believe me, it was excruciating at times, I picked myself, and decided not to look back, and get myself right.

There have been days of doubts, where the demons tells me I can’t accomplish this, that I have gotten too far to make real change. There have been days where it took every ounce of energy to get myself out of bed and to a training session. The days where I wanted to throw in the towel and just give up because I didn’t think this type of change was possible. But through the struggle, through what seemed like defeats, there have been days of victory. There were days when I stepped on the scale and I couldn’t believe I reached goals I had set for myself. Days where I blew myself away at the strength I have found in myself. There were days where I found my self worth, not in what I looked like but in who I was as person, and dammit I am a warrior.

I think the biggest change I’ve seen in myself is my confidence. I am confident because I can admit who I am, what I’ve done, and love myself for who I have become and who I am becoming. And if you anyone thinks for a second that I shouldn’t be confident because of my size, well I’ll be the first to tell them to eff off. I’m not doing this for anyone but myself. As I like to say, I’m doing this for me boo boo. A year ago if would have told me I could run on the treadmill without loosing my breath, or that I would be into weight training, I probably would have made some sort of fat joke and laughed it off. I definitely wouldn't have believed you if said I would be almost 70lbs lighter. A year ago I wasn’t the same person I am today and I couldn’t be more thankful for that. This is still only the beginning my friends, thank you for all your support. I can’t wait to see what the next 365 days bring. You are loved, live in your skin because it is damn beautiful.