Your Worst Enemy.

When people think of weight loss they usually connect it with the physical aspect of it but if you've ever had to lose a significant amount of weight you would understand that the mental aspect of this journey is just as, if not more, exhausting. You are in a constant battle with yourself. You accept the praise and compliments of those around you with hesitation because in the back of your mind all you can think about is your next goal you have set up and it feels like you will never get there. And although you love the support of your friends and family as they cheer you on for making this new lifestyle change you feel engulfed in guilt for letting yourself get this unhealthy. For me this has been the biggest struggle because as much I know I have an army standing behind me, I seem to be in this battle with myself because I am my own worst critic. It wasn't until later this week that I came across a quote and realized I need not only to take care of physical journey but the mental one as well. We are the biggest road blocks when it comes to our journeys, no matter what they be in life. We are the ones who set up the detours, the obstacles, the round a bouts and prolong what belongs to us. We must get out of our own way.

-Allison Rose

I Wouldn't Be Here If It Wasn't For You

Since I began this journey I have been so overwhelmed by all the support you all have shown me. It's very humbling to see how many people are standing behind on me and are rooting for me. Seriously it is such a blessing to have that reassurance with this army behind me. But I feel like I have to be honest with you all. You aren't my biggest motivators. There have a been a few people who have been pushing me even before I started this journey. They have been on my back for years even. But if it wasn't for them I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't get out of bed every morning, although some days I dread it, and head to the gym if it wasn't for them. I wouldn't be making the changes in my eating habit if it wasn't for them. I don't think I would have this burning desire to accomplish everything if it wasn't for them.

So I want to say thank you to all the people who told me I wouldn't be able to accomplish this. To all the guys who never even gave me a chance because I didn't fit their size 0 requirement to be in a relationship with. To the girl who told she use to be just as fat as I was, and that I shouldn't feel bad about myself. Yes, that really happened. And yes I had to restrain myself from using some very colorful words with her. Thank you to all the people who have doubted me over the years. Here's to all the people who tell me I can't do something because I'm not thin enough, because I'm not girly enough, because I'm not pretty enough. And here's to all the people who have suggested that I should just settle. You are my biggest motivators and I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you.

Although the words have left me hurt and the doubters have made me self conscious some days, my desire to accomplish this goal just grows and grows. It is a wild flame that can only tamed by doing what people have told me I can't do. And you can mark my words, I will accomplish my goal, no matter what setbacks or how long it will take. I think it's time we stop being ordinary and start living extraordinary.

-Allison Rose

Excuses, Excuses.

Do you ever just have those days where you will come up with literally any excuse not to go to the gym? You just make up the most ridiculous, out of this world reason as why there is no way in the whole entire universe that you can get out of bed, and go workout for a measly 60 minutes. Let me just share with you my pathetic version of this and how last Thursday went down. 

This past week seemed like the longest week of my life, and never ending might I add. My dad got married on Saturday, holler, and we just had so much going on leading up to the wedding. With family coming in and out of town my meal plan was out the window for the week and getting to the gym didn't always seem to make it as a top priority everyday. I don't think I have ever felt more pathetic than I did on Thursday morning before I went to the gym. Looking back on it, I laugh because if anyone had seen me and heard the excuses coming out of my mouth they would have laughed right at my face. So let try to paint this picture for you. 

5:30am and my alarm clock is going off. With a big grunt I roll over and turn off my alarm. As I'm laying in my bed starring at the ceiling, I think to myself, I didn't get enough sleep I shouldn't go to the class. I mean, if I go I wouldn't be working out to the best of my ability because I am so tired. It would be a waste of workout and I would just be mad I didn't work hard enough. No, I'm definitely not going, it's for the best. Five minutes later I throw myself up and sit at the end of my bed. I really shouldn't go, I should just stay home and sleep some more. I then proceeded to convince myself that my cracked heel was to big of an injury to workout. Just when you think I couldn't get more pathetic, I do. I walked around my room in my pajama boxers, tank top, and nikes testing to see if I could really workout with my cracked heel. I jogged in place, I bounced back and forth on each foot, and did a little side to side swift moves. It was at this point I myself finally realized how ridiculous I must look and sound. With 10 minutes to spare I threw on my workout clothes and made it just in time for the beginning of my class. 

If we put in half as much effort into changing out lifestyle as we do our excuses, we would be amazed at the wonders it would do for our body, mind, and soul. I realized that this is my biggest struggle standing between me and my goals. It is the bullish*t excuses I tell myself everyday that lead me off this lifestyle change. We have to decide that we are better, stronger, braver than any excuse we come up and when we stick to it, although some days we will feel like giving up, that it is oh so worth it. Believe me, there is no greater feeling than walking out of workout drenched in sweat, knowing you kicked some butt in your workout. 

-Allison Rose

All We Have Is Now.

So I decided that every Sunday I am going to post a new quote for the week that will be my theme. With that I will be writing what it means to me and how I will be applying it to my life. I hope you will join along & share with me your thoughts & how you will apply it to yours.   

As you all know, last week I finally went public with my weight loss journey and posted a progress picture of myself. My heart still anxiously races at the thought of that pictures being up on all my social media accounts but then I feel an overwhelming feeling of gratitude as I see all the amazing support I have gotten this far and for that I am so grateful. It's funny to me because I was so terrified of posting that picture, I thought no one would really care that much. To be honest, I actually turned off all my notifications when I uploaded it to instagram and that was after I had my friend Erica push the share button haha. I'm such a wuss. 

I told myself when I lose 50lbs I'll make my weight loss journey public. I mean, I had to make this extravagant entrance if I was going to share my story. And as time went on I kept coming up with more and more excuses. Maybe I'll post when I run a marathon, or maybe I'll share when I can wear a swimsuit, or maybe I'll share when I lose 100lbs. I kept waiting and trying to come up with the "perfect moment" to share. And then I came across this picture and it finally hit me. 

All we have is now. 

For far too many years, I came up with some of the most ridiculous excuses as to when I'll start exercising. I had this imagine in my mind that it had to be at the perfect time if I really wanted to see results. If I were to keep waiting for that moment, I would be waiting for the rest of my life and not be where I am today, 30lbs lighter, healthier and happier. 

Losing weight is hard and it sucks right now. I'm exhausted most days, I look like a complete mess when I walk out of a workout and almost everyday I want to give up. But I don't because I know if I don't make this change right now, then when? All we have is right now to make the lifestyle changes we need to make to live healthier lives. All we have is right now to chase the dreams that we have wanted since we were kids. All we have is right now because tomorrow is not promised. 

When you feel like giving up or walking away or throwing in the towel I hope you listen real heard for that little voice of courage inside of you that is telling not to quit. You are stronger than you know. You are more capable than you could imagine. You have what it takes and all it takes is right now. 

-Allison Rose