Stand Tall. Be Proud.

Growing up I always knew I was a little different from the crowd. While most kids were running around the playground, playing tag or getting into dirt, I glued myself to the swing set. Pumping and pumping my legs to the highest height possible, believing that any moment I could just shoot off into space and explore solar system that slept above us. I was the kid in the class that no matter what seat you moved me to I always got in trouble for becoming friends with my classmate & continually talking to them when I shouldn't be. I think by the end of every quarter my seat was somewhere in the back of the class where I was put by myself. I was the friend your parents got annoyed with at the sleepover because while everyone else knew how to use a quiet voice after 10pm I only had one volume, and it was loud, like really loud. I mean lets be honest, if we are friends now, you know I'm still pretty loud. I'm working on it. People's opinions have never really mattered to me either. I'm the friend who will ask for your opinion on an outfit and ultimately wear whatever I want because I like it, no matter how weird or unconventional others think it is. You tell me to do something one way, I will do it in just the opposite to show you it can be done. I like to be different. I like standing up against the status quo. 

A couple months before I started my weight loss journey I started noticing I wasn't the same person I use to be. I would spend a little longer in front of the mirror, turning every which way to make sure what I was looking at was real. I spent a little longer in the grocery line, flipping through the magazines, thinking how could I get my body like that. I no longer looked forward to the summer season of lying out to get tan and indulging in my favorite polar pop because it meant I would have to be in a bathing suit. The non existence whispers of passing people on the street, that I was oh so positive were talking about me, started to become louder and louder. I didn't like the person I was because she wasn't me. Somehow I became this girl who let the world push me down and kick dirt in my face. I let the media and pop culture dictate how I was suppose to look at myself, and according to them I should have been ashamed of who I was. I was defeated. But when it comes down to it, I think the biggest disappointment was in myself. Being this big, loud, bubbly personality who didn't take crap from no one, and there I was, walking with my head hanging low, dragging my feet. I had let the enemy win. This wasn't who I am. I was far from the role model I wanted to be to young girls if they ever came across my story. 

It wasn't until a week or two ago that I decided to take back my destiny. I was talking with a mom I work for, and she kept asking me how I was feeling about myself now that I had lost my first 50lbs, she was so excited for me. As I shrugged my shoulders, I kind of just brushed off the question with a subtle I guess so, not really, I still have a long way to go. She was so mad at me, and proceeded to yell at me for not taking more pride in how far I've come. I mean come on, I lost 50 freaking pounds, thats like a small toddler. She was right, I have come far because I'm not the same person I was 5 months ago. I've overcome hurdles I thought were impossible. I reached goals I thought were only attainable in my dreams. I kept going when all I wanted to do was quit. I have accomplished my biggest goal, I've gotten out of my own damn way. Although my journey is far from over, I don't think I could be more excited for what the future holds because for the first time, in a long time, I'm that loud, talkative, crazy, obnoxious, witty girl who is ready to take on the world again. So to my fellow dreamers, this one is for you. Stand tall, be proud of who you are and keep shooting for the moon, because even if you don't reach it, you'll land among the stars. 

-Allison Rose