Don't You Dare Give Up.

Have you ever heard the phrase, don't bite off more than you can chew? Yeah, well this whole week I've felt like I've been choking because if it wasn't one thing or another. As you might know we started a 6-week body transformation challenge and I was super pumped about it. I've always been on the more competitive side, I mean I was put in organized sports when I was 8 years old, so my competitiveness started young.  To get my best results yet I thought I would up the amount of times I would go to the gym each week, seemed like a good idea. I told myself I would start going 6 days a week instead of the usual 3/4 days. I would totally see more results faster, and it could only help in this competition. The first week I think I went to 5 classes, I thought I was going to die. I was so tired, every single day. But I told myself I would push through it. And to add on top of that I started to notice my lower back was getting irritated but no pain, no gain right? I just ignored it and kept pushing myself. Over that weekend my back was getting more and more agitated, but I thought if I used a heating pad and took some ibuprofen I would be good. Obviously my body was telling me to slow down but I just kept pushing, I was fine, or so I thought.

On Monday we started week two of the challenge and I was still some what pumped about it, lets do this! Yeah, that ended when I slept through my alarm and missed my class. And of course, there I was trying to justify it by saying oh my back has been bad, so it's a good thing I missed the class. Oh, if only I had listened to myself and took another day off. The week went on and I went to my usual classes. I was in a little bit of a funk earlier of the week, but when I look back on it I should have just listened to my guts and more importantly the message my body was telling me. Friday morning, woke up ready for my classes, got dressed and headed out the door. When I walked in I was informed that I had actually signed up for the 8am class, not the 9am one but they let me in the class anyway. They said if everyone showed who signed up for the class, they would just pull me out. She would rather pull me out than have me miss the first 15 minutes of the class. All the treadmills were taken so I made my way to the rower. I strapped myself in and began. One row. Two row. Three row. Four row. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. My lower back went tight. I mean so freaking tight. With the pain hitting me all of a sudden I did that whole thing, where you kinda jump up, and attempt to walk if off. Like hello, that doesn't work, this wasn't going to go away by walking it off. I went into the lobby and sat down. That's when the tears started flowing. Yes it hurt that bad. And I think I was also scared because I literally could not move with this excruciating pain going all through my lower back. 

After 30 minutes of icing it and having one of the front desk attendees trying to calm me down, I waddled my way out to my car and drove home. I have never been more uncomfortable driving a car than I did in that moment. I dread making those right hand turns. I finally got home and with some final tears drying up headed to my bed with an ice pack and a muscle relaxer. Toss and turning I finally found a "comfortable" position and fell asleep. Lets be honest, I thank the relaxer for helping me pass out. I woke up expecting to feel better but no, I was far from it. I was stiff and sore, I could barely pull myself up to get out of the bed. At this point I just became angry because this was definitely going to be a damper on the body challenge. My anger turned into frustration, why didn't I just listen to what my body was telling me and chill out on the workouts. And of course after the frustration came the feeling of defeat. I thought to myself I've been working and trying so hard to consistently work towards my goal and just like that I was down for the count. Feeling defeated is one of the worst feelings in the world because you also have this sense of hopelessness. Like why bother at this point anymore? I might as well just give up, obviously this is a sign that I should. 

The past three days I've been throwing a pity party for one and I am the guest of honor. Between the constant ice pack on my back and the binge watching of Netflix, giving up sure sounded like a good idea. But as I look back on the beginning of this journey I realized that quitting now would be the stupidest thing I could do. I will not stand defeated. I will overcome this. Of course, when I am recovered, I will head back to the gym. I will take things slow. I will not compare myself to those around me. And when my body starts talking, I will listen. I have to constantly remind myself that I am not where I want to be but I'm not where I use to be. So I won't give up. And don't you dare think about giving up either. You are were created for greatness, so go and answer your calling. 

-Allison Rose